Wednesday, March 19, 2008

baby names

HAHAHA - you thought you were going to read this and see what baby names Brian and I have picked out, didn't you? You'll have to keep waiting on that - we don't even start talking about names until much later in my pregnancy and even then, we don't name the baby until we see him/her. I was sure Olivia was going to be an Emma, but when she came out - she just didn't look like an Emma to us. This was on the today show and I thought I'd share.

The worst, most-humiliating baby names

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker” or “Fanny Large”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell?” It’s not just Hollywood’s elite opting for unique, embarrassing names—throughout history, normal people separated their offspring from the masses with truly terrible names.
In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau. Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender, Cholera Peace), food (Bread White, Pomegranate Purple), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Adams was unfortunate—wait till you meet Monday Monday.

You'd have to be really sick to infect your offspring with virulent names like these:
Fever Bender (born 1856)
Leper Priest (born 1929)
Cholera Priest (born 1830 during the second cholera pandemic)
Rubella Graves (born 1814)
Typhus Black (born 1897)
Hysteria Johnson (born 1881)
Emma Royd (born 1850)
Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894)
Mumps Sykes (born 1891)

With names like "Mayor Bland," it seems like some parents had high, ambitious hopes for their children's future.
Cook Cook
Governor Bush
Lawyer Low
Doctor Love
Teacher Blackbear
Judge Savage
Editor Honeycutt
Mayor Bland
Sales O. Justice
Gamble Moore

The authors found 149 records for people named Lust, 70 for Greed, 12 for Sloth, and 830 for Pride. Which of the 7 deadly sins was missing? Only gluttony.
Lust Garten
Greed Sister Mancini
Avarice Sullivan
Sloth Washton
Wrath Gordon
Envy Burger
Pride Saint
Greed McGrew
Pride Saint
Lust T. Castle

Irish luck
Plenty of parents must have thought that naming their child Lucky would translate into a bright future. In 1930 alone, there are 463 Luckys.
Some lucky favorites:
Lucky Green
Lucky Jewell
Lucky O’Brien
Lucky Pleasant
Luck Fortune
Shamrock Hardeman of Illinois
Shamrock Dates of Mississippi
Shamrock Holland of Texas
The religious types:
Saint Patrick Blan
Saint Patrick Forrest
Saint Patrick
The patriotic:
Ireland England
Ireland Green
Irish Sea
Ireland Brew
Rainbow Green
Emerald Jewel
Clover Field
Clover B. Green
A St. Patrick’s Day feast:
Beef Cooper
Guinness Dack
Cabbage Haywood

Some parents loved eating so much, they named their kids after favorite meals, snacks—and even condiments:
Lunch Magee
Dinner Ware
Bread White
Hero Brat
Mayo Head
Mustard M. Mustard
Pickle Parker
Plum Sellers
Banana Bowdy
Cherry Grant

Forget Suri or Shiloh – celebrities have given their children far stranger names! Discover the stars' oddest, most bizarre baby names:
Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)
Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)
Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)
Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)
Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)
Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)
Kal-El Coppola (Nicholas Cage)
Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)
Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)
Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)
Tallulah (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore)
Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)

Bart Simpson pranks
Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the databases:
Al Caholic
Oliver Clothesoff
I.P. Freely
Seymour Butz
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Amanda Hugginkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Maya Buttreeks

Want more - check out the reader submissions.

Vote for the most horrible.

To all the expectant mothers reading my blog - I hope I helped you in your quest to come up with a name for your baby :-)


Matthew Rayback said...

Hey! I'm the co-author of this book. Thanks for picking up on it, and good luck naming your own baby. I'd recommend against finding inspiration from my book, but that's up to you. If you or your readers want to know more about the book and see some other funny names, head on over to my blog, Thanks again.

Leenie said...

I've got one for ya.. Meconium. Yep--that is what happens to the fluid when the baby craps in it before he/she is born. My good friend from work used to work in an OB office the doctor tried to explain to the young-uneducated mother that it was not such a good thing but the mom insisted that is sounded good and that is what she named the baby.

Megan said...

Oh wow, that is so cool he made a comment!!! I myself vote for Beef!!! I don't know what some of these parents are thinking!!! Hope you are feeling better soon:)

mommy24 said...

If it's a girl (highly unlikely!!!), we're going with Marsha Mellow. Shawnie, you may not steal it---it's ours!

Leenie said...

Don't you worry Mommy 24-You're having a girl. Boys were last year's news (Sorry Megzy). I think Shawnie is having a girl and Ree Ree too. They say things happen in three's. So Megzy's boy will make three boy babies and then w/ all the other new ones coming, they have to be girls (or maybe 3 boys).

mommy to an angel said...

I'm thinking girls for all of us too...well, except you Megs!