30 hasn't been so bad, until...

I went to the license branch yesterday to renew my expired license. I had to hand over the license from 5 years ago when I was a young, hot, blond chic about 60# lighter for a picture of a fat, swollen, bloated old fart picture! This totally isn't fair. I think I'm going to have to "loose" the new license in a year to get a better picture - I can't actually show this to anyone! It's horrible!! First of all, the camera is about waist high, so you have to look down - everyone knows that when you look down at a camera you automatically add one chin to the chins you already have! And then, I thought the lady was going to tell me that she needed to take it again because I felt like my eyes were closed, but she didn't say anything - then when I got the license, my eyes were half closed. My face is fat and swollen and I just look horrible. I think this is when turning 30 finally hit me. I am no longer the young, hot, blond chic on my old license :-(

AND why in the hell do they have to charge me a $5 late fee? My license expired on my birthday which was Monday - the license branch was closed on Monday!! I went the following day and I get hit with a $5 late fee - is it any skin off their back that I came in the next day? What in the hell does the $5 go to, it didn't cost them anything that I came in a day late - they didn't loose out on anything. I swear, they will charge you for anything!! I should write them a letter - right Leenie? Oh, no, listen to me, I even sound like I'm 30! I'm the old fart complaining about the license branch, their policies and threatening to write a letter - Aahhhh!

Make your prediction

If you haven't noticed the new button on my side bar let me draw your attention to it. I have developed a pole at http://www.expectnet.com/ where you can predict the sex of the baby, the date of his/her arrival and the size. Take a minute to make your predictions.

I kept the predictions made when we were pregnant with Olivia and it's in her scrapbook - I just love looking back at it.

Click on the button in the top left hand corner that says "Expect Net" and make your prediction. Or you can go to http://www.expectnet.com/ and type in "barnettbaby" as the game name.



Thanks Amanda for the idea :-)

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

It's official - today I am the BIG

That's right, I've joined the 30-something crowd and it doesn't feel so bad!

For my birthday I spent Saturday at the spa with my mom and a few of my closest girlfriends. We had a FABULOUS time together! Thanks everyone for making it so special! Yesterday, Brian and Olivia took me shopping and I finally got new bedding! They also took me out to lunch and dinner and allowed me to take a 2 hour nap in between :-) Thanks, my loves!

Happy 2nd Birthday Jesse

Jesse,

Words can't express the feelings that I feel today. There is every kind of emotion running through my body! I can't believe that two years ago we had to say good-bye. In some ways, it feels like it was yesterday, but in others it feels like it's been a lifetime. Two years ago I held your lifeless body and just felt empty, lost, scared...and just couldn't understand why. I still don't understand why, but I do know that there have been so many blessings that have come out of your early arrival to heaven.

Jesse, you made me brave! I did something that many wouldn't have even attempted - 52 hours of labor to have you naturally - it would have been so easy to have a repeat c-section, but I think God had other plans because on 7/22 when we realized that your heart was no longer beating, I wasn't ready to say good-bye yet - you had already gone to heaven, but your body was still protected by mine and I wasn't ready to give that up - I needed time.

Jesse, do you know that you changed the world? Do you know that strangers dropped to their knees praying for your mommy and daddy and family as we were going through the roughest time in our lives? Do you know that, because of you, your daddy was saved and will see you again someday? Do you know that you accomplished more in your short little life than some do over many many years? You, tiny you, are the greatest miracle I've known and I am incredibly proud to be called your mommy!

Two years ago today I lost a piece of my heart. Two years ago today a hole formed in my heart that will never be filled. Two years ago today I had to tell you good-bye. Two years ago today I didn't know how I was going to make it another day, but two years ago today Heaven became a reality! It's now a place I look forward to. I look forward to the day when I will hold you again. I look forward to the day when the hole in my heart is filled and I am complete with you and our Heavenly Father. No more pain, no more heartache, no more emptiness...

Happy 2nd Birthday my wee little man! I love you more than words can describe.

To our friends and family: Thank you so much for all of your support, love and prayers. We are so lucky to have such wonderful people who have covered us with an incredible amount of love and prayers - you guys are amazing!

Jesus, you have walked with us in a way we could have never imagined. You have brought us peace and strength that can only come from You. We can't thank You enough for the comfort you have brought to us and our family and friends. We are so thankful for the gift of salvation and the promise that we will see our little Jesse again some day.

http://www.jesse-barnett.memory-of.com/

update

A few quick updates...
My grandma's funeral was an incredible experience. In all honesty, she couldn't have planned it better herself. Like I said before, my grandma LOVED to sing. Since she was about 4 she would get up on any stage and sing her heart out at a moments notice. She was a ham and loved to perform. Well, would you believe that we found a whole stash of recordings of her. My brother took all the recordings to his church and they were able to put them all on CDs for the family to have AND we played them during her viewing and we picked two for the actual funeral - YEP, she got to sing for her own funeral! The funeral was a celebration of her life. We laughed and we cried, but mostly we rejoiced that she is where she wanted to be.

I'm exhausted this week! It's VBS time at our church this week. I volunteer for the snack part of VBS and spend from 4:30 to 8:30 on my feet (with a few breaks here and there) eating and serving food! I'm tired, sore and cranky, but tonight is the last night!! I could say, "I'm just not coming tonight." but honestly, I don't mind it.

Finally, the baby! The baby is doing great and my dr appointments have been going good. On Tuesday I had a NST and an appointment with my midwife. I had my group B strep test and my midwife checked me just to see where we are. I thought this was pretty stupid being that I'm expecting to go past my due date - I don't have a great history of progressing quickly! I was so shocked when she announced that I was 1 cm AND 50% effaced!!! All of the sudden, this baby became a reality! OMG WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!! WE ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE A BABY! So I was awake Tuesday night worrying about all the things that need to get done before the baby arrives. Can you ever be ready for a baby? I mean there's always something that you need/want, right? I figure we'll be ready sometime by the 1st birthday!

An amazing woman

Heaven became even a better place last night after my grandmother grew her wings and went to be with her Heavenly Father. Words can't even describe how wonderful this woman was. First and foremost, she was a child of God and loved Him with all her heart, mind and soul.

My favorite memory of her was her singing. She had a voice that was absolutely amazing! I think that she is where I got my love for music and Olivia as well. It would just make her day when Olivia would sing to her over the phone or in person when we were there for a visit - her face would just light up. She sang for many years in church and would even visit nursing homes and sing for the patients in the nursing homes.

My grandmother has been battling COPD and emphysema for a couple of years now, but despite her illness, she was in great spirits right up to the end. My mom spent most of the day with her yesterday and she told me all about their day this morning. They shared lots of laughs and just had a great time. My mom had bathed her and washed her hair and left later in the afternoon so that my grandmother could take a nap - sadly she never woke up.

I'm glad to know that she went peacefully to the arms of Jesus in her sleep. I am so happy that she has been restored and no longer has to fight for a breath. I am so happy that she is walking the streets of Gold - probably dancing and singing, and is no longer laying in her bed where she spent 95% of her time, but this place on earth just won't be the same without her, but thankfully, I know I will see her again someday.

My grandma has been looking forward to heaven for some time now. She has said on a couple of occasions that she's just ready to go to heaven. She told me a couple months back that when she gets there she's going to find her mom and then find Jesse. I like to think that she rocked him to sleep last night. This is the picture in my mind

So earth just isn't the same today without this amazing woman, but heaven will never be the same now that she grew her wings.

The following is one of the songs that will be sang at her funeral and the words to the song are just incredible

Chris Rice - Untitled Hymn

Weak and wounded sinner

Lost and left to die

O, raise your head, for love is passing by

Come to Jesus

Come to Jesus

Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted

And carried far away

And precious blood has washed away the stain,

so Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus

Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby

Don't be afraid to crawl

And remember when you walk

Sometimes we fall...so

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus

Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely

And steep and filled with pain

So if your sky is dark and pours the rain,

then Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus

Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over

And music fills the night

And when you can't contain your joy inside,

then Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus

Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat

Kiss the world goodbye

Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side,

and Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus and live!

In loving memory of Geraldine Burbrink

You are so loved by all who knew you and we miss you tremendously!

Please say a prayer for the many family members who will be traveling this week for her funeral. I am trying to leave today, but I have 3 appointments (NST, biophysical profile and dr appointment) all scheduled tomorrow that I am trying to get moved to today. Say a prayer that it all gets worked out so that I can be there with family as soon as possible.

Biophysical profile

I had the coolest biophysical profile last week and I just thought I'd share it with you. For those of you who don't know, a biophysical profile is an ultrasound that measures the health of the baby during pregnancy and is combined with a non-stress test and graded. There is a possibility of getting 10 points - 10 being optimal, but 8 being acceptable. A score of 6 would require another test in a 24 to 48 hours and a score of 6 or below would require further examination. Here's what is being graded:
movement - 2 points - the technician is looking for 3 random movements within a decent amount of time
breathing movement - 2 points - the technician is looking for a 30 second period in which the baby is mimicking breathing
amniotic fluid - 2 points - the technician is looking for at least 1 pocket of amniotic fluid of at least 1 cm
muscle tone - 2 points - the technician is looking for one extension/flexion to occur - this could be a leg extending and then returning to a bent position or a hand opening and then closing into a fist
non-stress test - 2 points - a rise in heartbeat (of at least 15 bpm) during movement - this should occur somewhere between 2 and 8 times in a 15 minute period

So, last week when I was having this, the baby remained pretty inactive and the technician was able to get all the measurements needed and see the "breathing", but then it was time to roll me over on my side to try to get the baby to move. The baby was laying with both arms across his/her face. I said, "come on baby, just wake up and cooperate so we can be done." All of the sudden the baby lowered both arms, looked right at us and began wiggling his/her fingers like he/she was waving at us. The technician continued to watch thinking that the baby would make a fist at any second and we could be done with the test, but instead we sat there and watched the baby wave at us for about 2 minutes. It was just the most awesome thing I have ever seen! Below is a picture where you can see the baby waving - the hand that is waving is the star-shape in the middle of the picture.

This is the same picture without the labels

Call me crazy if you want to, but as I looked more and more at the picture, there was a lot about this baby that resembled Olivia. I know, you're probably wondering how in the hell I got that from a very distorted and grainy picture that to some don't even resemble a baby, but to me, I thought that this baby looked a lot like Olivia. So I had to get out Olivia's scrapbook and look at her ultrasound pictures. Below are two different pictures of Olivia when I was pregnant with her. Do you see the resemblance? Be honest!
(in both pics the head is to the right of the pic and body is to the left)

BTW - I don't know what my score was - I will find out today at my appointment with my midwife. My last biophysical profile was scored an 8 out of 10.

While Brian was gone...

I had a good time with Olivia and my mom, but most importantly, I slept GREAT!

My mom and I stayed very busy with Olivia. On Monday, we took Olivia to have her first real pedicure where she soaked her feet and everything. It was very cute. After the pedicures we went out to dinner and then did a little shopping.
On Tuesday, we took Olivia to see the American Girl movie, Kit Kittredge. The movie was the best G movie I have seen in a long time...even I got teary eyed on a couple of occasions. It was just nice to see a REAL movie, not a cartoon, that I could take Olivia to as well. After the movie I had an NST and a Dr appointment to go to and my mom was thrilled that she was able to go along and hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. All went well and I'll be back there tomorrow for another NST and a biophysical profile. After my Dr appointment we did some more shopping. I have been on a mission to find suitable pajamas for the hospital. I had bought something at Kohls, but I ended up looking like I was in fancy camouflage and figured I would make the baby VERY nauseous if I wore it in his/her presence so I returned it. My mom suggested JCPenney's and boy am I glad I went there. I couldn't believe the bargains! I felt like the girl on the IKEA commercial where she is yelling to her husband to start the car because she feels like she has just stolen and needs a fast get-away!! I purchased all of the following for $101
4 pairs of pajama pants (2 of which were only $2.97 each!)
2 shirts
1 robe (which was only $2.97!)
9 newborn summer outfits (4 girl, 4 boy and 1 neutral)
and a package of underwear for Olivia because she had a minor accident
I couldn't believe the deals! I really needed to get the newborn baby stuff because ALL the summer stuff is going on clearance and I won't be able to get anything for summer if I wait much longer. I figure the newborn stuff will get us a couple of weeks during the really hot period and until we venture out to go shopping after the baby has arrived and we KNOW if we are buying blue stuff or pink stuff - I'm not a huge fan of the neutral stuff.
After all the shopping we were hungry, but the only thing we wanted was fried pickles and the only place we knew to get them was Quaker Steak and Lube which was 30 minutes away, but we couldn't get the craving out of our head so we drove there and we were very glad we did...after 3 orders of fried pickles! Oh, these things are the best thing since sliced bread. I have a funny feeling I will be begging Brian to take me there quite a few more times during the next 47 days.
On Wednesday we visited Memory Lane (where Jesse was buried) before my mom had to leave to go back home. We took paper and crayons and we all did the thing where you scribble over the words onto paper - Olivia really liked doing it and just thought it was so neat - I think this will become something we do regularly when we visit.
After Brian's flight was cancelled and then delayed he finally arrived at OHare around 7, but then it took another 30 to 40 minutes for his baggage to show up. It was good to have him back home and actually talk to him - we only talked on the phone 2 times while he was gone because of the roaming charges.
After waking up this morning I'm very thankful that I had 3 uninterrupted nights of sleep while he was gone - before he left on his trip I was blaming my sleepless nights on being in my last two months of pregnancy, but I slept GREAT while Brian was gone and I slept horribly last night! I honestly can't believe the sounds that can come out of a mouth while one is sleeping - it's incredible! Sometimes I felt like he was a leaky tire, sometimes a tire on the verge of exploding, then there was the foghorn sound, a spoon stuck in a garbage disposal sound, a chainsaw, and a chainsaw trying to remove a spoon stuck in a garbage disposal...I never realized just how talented my husband was! But, like my mom always says, "you would miss it if it was gone." I suppose I would, but I don't know if we will make it another 47 nights of this! Between the peeing 5 times a night and the 5 minutes it takes to roll over because I'm now at the stage where I feel like a turtle stuck on his back when trying to roll from side to side, I don't know how much more of the snoring I can take! (I love you Brian :-) I guess I should just be thankful that he's here with me and try to sleep when I can, it just doesn't seem fair though.
But anyway, we had a good time while Brian was gone, but it's nice that he's back home safely. Thanks for all your prayers for his safe travel.

Jokes

My mom and I took Olivia to Oberweis last night for ice cream. Olivia got a kids hot fudge sundae and the cup it came in had the following joke

What do you call a cow with holes?

A holy cow!

Well anytime you tell Olivia a joke she has to rework it and come up with another joke - usually they make absolutely no sense and are just silly, but what she said next had me shooting ice cream out my nose...

Hey mom, what do you call a cow with horns?

Backfire

Sometimes the things we teach our kids can backfire on us!

Several months ago I attended a MOPS meeting at my church that was on Women's Health. The guest speaker brought in a hamburger and french fries from McDonald's and passed it around for all of us to look at and guess how old it was. I checked it out and it looked like a cold hamburger and french fries that maybe you had put in your fridge and forgotten about it for maybe a week - there was no mold, it hadn't broken down - it just looked kind of old and maybe a little stale. Well, come to find out, it had been purchased in January of 2005 so it was over 3 years old!
The point the lady was getting at was that the food we consume nowadays is so overly processed and has so many additive and chemicals in it to keep it "fresh" longer and all of these things are hurting us in the long run. A hundred years ago, people were dying from more natural causes and widespread diseases that we now have immunizations for, but we are now dying from things that we cause our selves because of the lifestyles many of us lead and the chemicals and additives we feed our bodies. Years ago, you consumed mostly foods that were from the ground and not overly processed. They were foods that broke down easily and wouldn't last more than a couple of weeks. Think about fruits and veggies and how they go bad so quickly...
So anyway, I was so disgusted that I wasn't able to eat fast food for a while, especially McDonald's. I think I can count on one hand how many times I have eaten McDonald's since then - and this was probably a weekly trip of ours before this MOPS meeting. I have eaten Burger King a couple of times, but I'm actually not a HUGE fan of Burger King. Other than that, I think I've had DQ and Wendy's a couple of times. If I'm in a hurry and in a pinch I will drive through Culvers - I'm sure it isn't too much better, but I don't feel AS bad.
I never really said anything to Olivia about it, but you know how kids pick up on what you say. There have been several occasions where Brian has said, lets just go to McDonald's and I say, "NO WAY!!! That's disgusting and we don't need it!" We have really tried to limit our eating out, especially when it comes to fast food! Not that we are on a strict diet or anything, just trying to eat a little healthier AND not spend so much money on eating out.
So, yesterday I was craving a Big Mac - I have no idea why - I really don't even like them. I can't even tell you the last time I've had one - probably several years! But you know how it is when your pregnant, you crave weird things and you HAVE to have it!! So, it was lunch time yesterday and I told Olivia we were going to go to McDonald's - and she protested. I even tried to bribe her telling her that the new happy meal toy is the Littlest pet shop - she was interested in the toy, but didn't want the food. So we didn't go and we ended up eating at home. Well today the craving is even much greater. This is the conversation that took place at lunch time.
Olivia: I'm hungry
Me: Okay, let's go to McDonald's for lunch
Olivia: I don't want McDonald's, I want to eat at home
Me: Well, you can get a happy meal with the littlest pet shop toy
Olivia: Is it the pet with the field journal?!?
Me: (not knowing what the heck she's talking about) well, I don't know what kind it will be, but I know it will be some kind of pet
Olivia: I don't want to eat there, can we just buy the toy and eat at home?
Me: No, I want to eat there. You can even have a Hi-C orange pop! (A HUGE TREAT!!!)
Olivia: I just want water at home
Me: Why don't you like to eat at McDonald's?
Olivia: Well, because it's fast food. It's just fast and it yucky. We can just eat at home, what do we have?
So she settled for a PB&J, fresh pineapple and some water and I haven't eaten anything! I'm just not in the mood for anything else, but a Big Mac, but I know I shouldn't have it and that it is fast food and it is yucky! I just hope the craving stops, or I might be making a midnight run to McDonald's!
I AM glad that she is like this though - if anything it will help her grow up making healthier choices than Brian and I have AND she'll keep us in check when we feel the urge to eat not so healthy.

There is potential for this to be a looooong week

We got up at 5:30 this morning and took Brian to Ohare for a business trip to Toronto. He'll be gone until Wednesday evening, but thankfully mommy is coming to save me! My mom is coming up from Indy tomorrow to keep me company and keep me sane! I had initially planned on going to Indy for a few days, but just the thought of making that trip by myself exhausts me right now, so instead my mom is going to make the trip up here - isn't she AWESOME? Thanks mom!
Brian made it safely to Toronto and they have been sightseeing all day today. Tomorrow, Tuesday and Wednesday morning they will be in meetings at IBM and he will fly back on Wednesday. Please pray for safe travel for him and my mom!

The best part about being a mom is...

Olivia makes me laugh EVERY DAY!!!

Olivia: mom, what's a pit stop?
me: when daddy is watching racing and the cars pull off the track and get gas and change their tires - that's called a pit stop
Olivia: no, that's not a pit stop
me: then what is a pit stop?
Olivia: when you stop behind a tree and pee
me: WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?!?
Olivia: that's what Caillou and his daddy did when they were camping

And I was worried about her watching Sponge Bob?!?!?!
I guess giving the circumstances if we were out in the woods and need to go to the potty and there was no potty around, we would make a pit stop behind a tree, but is it necessary for this to be on Caillou?

Oh well, I'm sure she'll learn worse! And it WAS good for a laugh :-)