Patience

I've always said, 'don't pray for patience!' I feel like if I pray for patience then God will actually present me with a situation in which I need to be patient and quite frankly, I don't want to be patient! Yah, well that doesn't matter, because if there's something God wants us to learn then He's going to teach it to us!
This is what I've been dealing with! 25 months ago, Brian and I decided to ttc child #2, 25 months later we still have empty arms! We've been blessed with 3 children in that 25 months, but all have been taken far too early.
Did I mention that I'm not a patient person? Doesn't matter!! It's out of my control. But, I might be finally getting it! You see, I'm 6 days late with my period and I'm just being patient! I could have taken a pt almost 2 weeks ago, but I haven't taken one and I'm not going to for a couple of reasons.
For one, my body has been so screwed up for several months now and although my periods were becoming regular, I'm still not convinced that everything is right. I mean I feel like it is, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Well, my hopes are up, but I'm just trying to be realistic here.
Secondly, if God is trying to teach me patience then I want to show Him that I can be patient. Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." He's the one in control! It doesn't matter if I'm on clomid if God wants to breath life into my womb He will do it with or without Clomid!! Everything is in His timing and I have to learn to be patient and know that He is in control and that He has a perfect plan - one far better than I could ever think of. So, I'm being patient and I'm waiting! If I have not started by Christmas then on Christmas Day I will take a pt - if I am pregnant could you think of a better gift on Christmas? Money can't buy these kind of gifts!
So, I'm learning patience and it's hard! Please pray for Brian and I as we grow in our faith and put all of this in God's hands.

Thank you God for always being in control. Thank you for always having my best interest in mind. Thank you for loving me and choosing me, little old me, to be your daughter. Thank you for all the people and things I have been blessed with and continue to pour your blessings on me. Thank you for never giving up on me, even in my stubbornness, you don't give up. Please bless Brian and I with the desires of our hearts - we want to be blessed with another child so much and we are just asking that you bless us with this. Give us understanding when we don't always get what we want. Help us on this path towards patience and help us to truly believe that You are who You say You are and that we just need to BE STILL!! In your precious name, Amen