Sunday, February 21, 2010

Scarred for life

It's been several weeks since Olivia was scarred for life, but it's been a heavy week this week and we are all in need of laughter, so I feel like this post is needed!
Early last month, Olivia developed a horrible stomach flu.  She spent several days at home unable to keep anything down and having horrible stomach cramps.  After a few days I joined her in hugging the porcelain bowl.  Olivia was in a lot of pain and we felt like she needed to see the doctor.  Since I was unable to get out of bed Brian felt like it would be best to take Jack with him also.    Before the doctor sent them on to the hospital for a CT scan they were sent to the bathroom for a urine sample.
I'm sure you wondering where the laughter comes in, right?  I mean so far, this is nothing to laugh about.
Brian takes Olivia and Jack into the bathroom.  As Jack starts to open cabinets and get into everything, Brian takes the collection cup and....  Well, he kind of just stands there with lots of thoughts running through his head.  He tells Olivia that she needs to pee in the cup and so she drops her pants and starts to get on the toilet - she's been in the bathroom at my midwife's office enough to know how girls do this.  Brian on the other hand is completely clueless!  He tells her to get off of the toilet and stand up.  He has her kind of spread her legs a little and he holds the cup up to her and tells her to pee in it.  After looking at him like he has 3 heads she tries, but the girl cannot pee in the cup while standing up.  It doesn't help that Jack is getting into everything and she's yelling at him while Brian holds the cup with one hand and tries to keep Jack out of stuff with the other hand.
Brian finally realizes that she is going to need to sit down on the toilet to accomplish this.  Olivia sits down and Brian is baffled as to where he puts the cup.  He starts to put it in the front but decides the holding it under her from behind will be the best option.  He finally gets into place and is ready for her to pee...and he drops the cup in the toilet.
He goes out into the hallway and asks a nurse for a new cup.  The nurse also offers to take Jack to help out a little.  Brian takes the new cup back into the bathroom and attempts this again.  This time Olivia was successful at getting pee into the cup...and all over Brian's hand.
This is when Brian knew that there was something wrong.  He told me, "when she peed it just went everywhere and not in a straight stream!".
Thank God Olivia is only 5 and will hopefully never remember this.  If she does, it will probably come out in a therapy session many years from now.

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