Thursday, September 11, 2008

FAILED!

As Jen pointed out in her comment on the last post - we all fail at parenting! So when do you KNOW you have failed?
First let me say that this week went great! I managed to get Olivia to preschool every day this week AND pick her up! I was dressed, hair done and make-up on every morning in time for drop-off...I guess I'm one of THOSE moms! I even made it to bible study on Tuesday. Jack dealt with it all very well - he is such a good baby. So we all survived and I even was able to get dinner on the table every night for the family. So how did I fail? This picture should clue you in.

I am ashamed to say that Olivia had her first dentist appointment this week. Yes I said FIRST. I know they are supposed to go much sooner and we had every intention of getting her there sooner. First excuse was she wasn't on our dental plan, then we missed the open enrollment and didn't get her on it again, then Brian switched jobs and we had a waiting period, then he switched jobs again and had a waiting period, then he switched jobs again and had a waiting period, then we wasted lots of time trying to find the "right" dentist that was also covered by our insurance - so there you have it, all the excuses why she wasn't in before now.
So it was at her appointment that I realized I have failed as a parent! I honestly wanted to cry as I sat there listening to all that was going on in her mouth. I was asked about 3 times if she complained of pain in her mouth. So what is the damage? She has 8 cavities! No that's not a misprint - I meant to type the number eight. Four are so bad that she might require a baby root canal and a crown - they won't know until they start drilling and see exactly how deep the cavity is. The other 4 just need regular fillings. So worse case scenario is 4 fillings, 4 root canals and 4 crowns - what's the price tag AFTER insurance? $1800!! Also not a misprint! This includes the drugs they give her to make her drowsy and the laughing gas.
I just can't believe it. I feel so bad for her and it's all our fault - we have failed as parents! The good news is that it isn't a brushing issue - she brushes her teeth twice a day, and it isn't a diet issue - she doesn't drink much juice or milk, not a lot of candy or fruit snacks... The issue is flossing! I never even thought to floss her teeth - guess this is just stupidity on my part. Each cavity started out in a molar and spread to the other molar that is touching it. The dentist said that flossing and early intervention are the only things that could have stopped it from getting this bad.
So we're just praying that she will not require any root canals/crowns and that the dentist is able to go in there and fill all the cavities with a simple filling. I just feel so bad for her. She did awesome too - she climbed right up in the chair and opened her mouth - she cooperated so well. All the hygienist were so jealous that Olivia was not their patient - seriously she did amazing. She loves the dentist - she probably won't after the next 4 visits :-( Poor thing.
So, I have failed and Olivia is the one who has to suffer for it.

7 comments:

ReeRee said...

GET A SECOND OPINION!!!!!
My first dentist said that I needed 10 fillings. Luckily, our insurance changed and I ended up seeing another dentist. He told me I have deep groves in my teeth that are stained, but are not cavities. Never have I had any pain or trouble. I've been seeing this dentist for over 10 years and have yet to have a cavity.
I'd ask someone else to take a look before putting her through all that.

amanda said...

Did you know I'm a hygienist? I agree with reeree. Just to be on the safe side, get a second opinion. You can request that any xrays taken at this last appointment be released to you for another opinion. And don't think for a minute that you've failed...you haven't. I don't even recommend that kids go to their first appointments until between 3-4 years old (unless there is an obvious problem). None of my kids went before that. And with most little kids, there is enough spacing between their teeth that they don't need to be flossed - brushing is *usually* sufficient. If she's not a big sugar eater/drinker AND you brush her teeth regularly, it's very suspicious to me that the dds is recommending all this work. Let us know what you end up doing...
And DO NOT beat yourself up...you are NOT a neglectful parent...trust me, I've seen them and you are not one!!!

Jen said...

Amelia and Greta have not been yet so you are not negligent there! We don't have dental so that's my excuse. That and our dentist retired and I haven't found a new one I like. And I've never flossed a kid in my life!

I third the second opinion.

Anonymous said...

I'm a lurker, coming out to agree that you need to get another opinion. I work in a pediatric dental office, and there are so many times that a child comes in becuase they were told they need all this extensive work - and they don't. Definatly get your xrays and get another opinion, and if they tell you that they cannot release them, that is bogus, they are your records (there may be a fee).

Megan said...

I too have deep grooves. However, that said....my deep grooves have caused me many of cavity. I was just like olivia. Both with baby and now with my adult teeth. Every dentist says that I have weak enamel, also some people just have more acidic saliva. (So I am told by several dentists)So, don't worry. I don't even remember much about all my fillings as a child:) It is not your fault. After all, you don't even have stuff like fruit snacks in the house.

mommy25now! said...

Our kids have never flossed and have a total of 1 cavity between the 3 of them. It has to just be her teeth and their susceptibility to decay. I was that child at one point...did you know that every molar can have up to 5 cavities???? At one point I had all silver teeth back there!

Once her permanent molars begin to come in, ask the dentist about "sealing" the teeth. We've had all of the kids molars sealed and have had NO problems. Our insurance also covers it...considered preventative.

Leenie said...

Don't ever think for one second that you failed as a mother. You're a great mom.

Definately get another opinion. Which Dentist did you go to?