Monday, October 27, 2008

Happy Anniversary

Seven years ago today I walked down the isle to marry Brian - boy was that a mistake! Just kidding honey :-) It hasn't been an easy 7 years, we've had our share of ups and downs, there were times where I could have thrown you through a window or times when I didn't think we'd make it another day, but we've always made it through it and we've always grown from it. Honestly I don't know of anyone else on the face of the earth who I would have picked to travel this road with. You have been such an incredible husband!
So, Seven years! Does that mean the 7 year itch is coming? What exactly is the 7 year itch? I don't feel itchy at all! Does it have to do with the traditional seven-year anniversary gift being wool? Pretty itchy stuff? It's a good thing we aren't getting each other gifts! Or is it like the old movie and this is the point in your marriage where infidelity can occur - is the itch caused by the clap or some other STD? My God, I couldn't imagine! How in the world do you try to make another man or woman happy when it seems to be a chore just to make your spouse happy. I don't have the energy for that! Never mind the fact that I would never do that to my husband, my children or even myself. Are we just past this point in our marriage? Do people really go through this? Brian and I have actually been together for 14 years so is it possible that we're past that? Have we already done the 7 years and we just didn't see it? Maybe all those sleepless nights thinking about money, babies and lack of babies left us too muddled to notice. Or maybe it's the fact that my husband has never stopped woo-ing me! He's awesome!! He is always so quick to compliment me. He still finds me attractive and let's me know it! Even on days when I feel like a frumpy house wife, he still finds a way to make me feel like I am the princess he feel in love with several years ago.
I can't say the same for me! The experiences we've had over the last 2 1/2 years have left my focus elsewhere! I have been consumed with the loss of 3 children, months of infertility, pregnancy and post-partum. My focus has turned to all of this stuff and I feel like I have let my husband down. That's my goal for the 7th year of our marriage - focus on our marriage! I want to put my husband before all other things (except God of course). I want to get back to "dating" him. I want to have a marriage that is satisfying to both of us. Lately I just feel like a nagging wife and mother. I feel stretched so thin. I feel like I am always on the go but getting absolutely nothing accomplished and pissing my family off at the same time. So what are your suggestions? I know I'm not the only one feeling this way. What do you do to focus on your marriage? Do you plan monthly date nights? Do you plan sex nights? I've heard that you should actually put sex on your calendar - seriously? How do you spice things up? Don't give me details!! I just want some ideas of what I can do. I know a lot of you have been down the same road I am on right now. Things are great, I love my husband, he loves me, we have a wonderful family, we don't fight a lot....but I want things to be AMAZING!!!

5 comments:

On Stage said...

Happy Anniversary!

Sex night on the calendar?!!! Who does this? How is it physically possible for any one to have sex when there are small non napping, "I don't want to sleep in my own bed" children in the house?

How to spice up the marriage? Hell if I know. When you find out, pass the info my way!!! Make sure it doesn't involve $$$ or babysitters. Two things I don't have.....

ReeRee said...

Happy Anniversary!! Don't worry about the 7 year itch...it never happened here(as far as I know). I think we all go through ups and downs in our marriages at different times. I can honestly say that this year (year 12) has been the hardest for us...but things are getting much better. I think what helps the most is looking for the things that you fell in love with in the first place. They are still there most of the time...just a bit harder to find!!

On Stage said...

I just remembered an Oprah episode I saw years back...

The wife wanted to spice up her marriage by getting one of those "special" bikini waxes.
Just an idea!!! LOL

Leenie said...

I believe that special was was the "Telly Savalas" :)

Year 7 was not so itchy but very hard for us. Baby No 3 came and I quit work and it was very stressful and hard transition.

I suggest the "Love Dare". You can get it at the Christian Book Store. You can read the first chapter at http://thelovedarebook.com/love-dare-sample-chapter.pdf.

Jason said...

Hey, when you figure out how to focus on Brian, let Kristi know your secret! :)

Congrats on 7 years. I agree, taking more time for each other is what is best. Just wish we could follow that advise!

7 year itch. It's been a while since our 7 year, but I don't remember that much itching. But, like Brian on the weekends, showering isn't a top priority!